The Fake Tan Saga


This really is not a post I wanted to post due to the sheer embarrassment about the whole...ahem..saga. The only reason I am posting this is so someone can learn from my mistakes.

So, the other day I was like "hey i'm pale i'm gonna fake tan!". So I applied one coat Dove medium-dark fake tan. Let it dry. Applied another coat - cause hey I am super pale so I probably need two coats. Let it sink in. Went to bed hoping to wake up like J-Lo. Woke up like one of those orange girls from snog, marry, avoid. "OH CRAP" I thought. I immediately jumped in the shower and scrubbed, scrubbed SCRUBBED my flesh until it went bright red. Yes that'll do it I thought. That'll fade all the orangeness and patches. BUT NO. 

Clock strikes 7.30 and it's too late - I have to go get ready for coffee with a friend and then go to uni. I put on jeans, a long sleeve and enclosed shoes which hid most of the orangeness. I leave the house. As I walk from my car to the coffee shop I shoot a glance at my hands and they're BLOODY ORANGE. I quickly pull down my sleeves even further. Luckily the coffee shop is quite dark so no one would have noticed. I then go to uni and as soon as class ended I rushed home. "GOTTA FADE THIS TAN" is all I was thinking. I was a girl on a mission.

Got home and soaked in a bath for an hour cause apparently that fades it. Nope, didn't work. I then google "what fades fake tan" and all these various tips come up. Firstly they suggest to scrub. I attempt to scrub again but it was unsuccessful. It then says lemon juice can work so I rubbed lemon juice everywhere and no luck.

I get desperate. I realized stain removers are powerful enough to remove stains so why not fake tan? I grab some stain remover and use it as a scrub AND NO FREAKING LUCK. I am going psychotic at this point. I then grab some preen and use it as a handwash to fade my orange hands AND STILL NO LUCK. I was a mess. I then reached for those stones which are meant to be used to scrub the soles of the foot..but I used it on my hands and feet. Scrubbed so hard that my hands and meet now have marks all over them. 

I ended up confessing to my mum and she promptly went to the shops and brought back a better scrub. I tried that and it worked alright but the damage was done. This tan was only going to fade with time. I made a fatal error. Never apply two coats of fake tan. Just don't. 

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  1. Oh no! What a nightmare!! I've never used a fake tan before but after reading this I think i'll just embrace the pale haha

    Renee | Lose The Road

  2. Haha I've been there before. Invest in some Bondi Sands - I've never had a bad tan with it x

  3. Well if i've learnt one thing from this post it's to use fake tan carefully whenever I decide to use it!
    Wow that is some strong fake tanning stuff!